Not Quite Ready

I was never quite sure where this burning desire to work as a Paramedic came from. I guess on some level I always wanted to work in health care. As a kid I would imagine that I would one day be a top surgeon in a huge hospital (probably after I realised being a scientist didn't really involve creating big explosions in test tubes). Now though, the fog has cleared. I want to do a job that's rewarding, I want to work with other people and help to make a difference. Working in an office, lab or shop to make another person rich doesn't float my boat. 

I think one day I could do this job very well. I'll be able to enter a person's life during their time of crisis and walk them through what could be an incredibly scary period of time, driven by all the right reasons. They're in pain and frightened, worried about what's going to happen to them or a loved one. This person will need someone to reassure them, make them feel safe and at ease. They need someone to remain calm and focused, someone that knows what they are doing. A paramedic must be able to do this for a patient and It's just as important as the medical aspect of their role.

But I have to ask myself, can I do that?

It's an important question, one that's not so easy to answer. I could easily turn around and shout a firm 'yes' but being sure on the outside probably isn't enough. The truth is, I'm not sure. Maybe it's something that can only be determined in an actual situation. I do know that the likelihood of failure is higher if I were to have strong lingering doubts and failing in such a situation is denying a person the right to the best support available during what could turn out to be the final day of their life.

And what if I don't like the job? Does wanting something so much automatically mean I will like it? Probably not. I want to get fit, but it doesn't mean I will like the process. I have no way of knowing until the time comes.

I think a part of me is hoping that once the uniform is on, it's almost like playing a part; I'm no longer me, I'm just another paramedic. It's impossible to know for sure. This whole question is really getting to me, mainly because if I can't do this job for some reason I'll be at a complete loss. I expect I'm over thinking the whole situation but currently I'm of the inclination that I should put off this line of work for a few more years while I work on my confidence and build up my ego a little.

If only I could stop thinking about it, I literally imagine what it's like every day. I desperately long to join the Ambulance Service. I recently came ever so close.

To be continued...

Something to Keep us all Going

I realise that finding a Job is going to be quite draining. I'll have nothing to do except for endlessly sending out my CV and looking for online application forms. I don't need to do this for three or more weeks to know that I will feel like crap pretty quickly. It'll just be one of them things that is unavoidable and I will have to find things to keep my spirits up.

This video never fails to make me smile and feel good, which is why I wanted to share it. I hope it has a similar effect on everyone else too. Oh and I recommend watching with the sound turned on, the music is pretty cool.

Excuse the title, it's not as crude as it sounds!

Artist's Website

Realisation

Inspirations and perspective come from the strangest of places. In this case, I guess I can blame the TV show Man V Food (who doesn't love watching Adam Richman stuffing his face with a giant burger?!).

The other day, me and a housemate got talking about travelling around America to sample all the amazing foods and it ended in a serious conversation about where we would go, how we would do it and expenses etc. I've always wanted to travel and have wondered when I would get around to it. After a bit of googling, we discovered it could cost about £5,000 for 6 months in the states which will take a lot of saving up! Not to mention getting 6 months off of work.

I already have some tentative travel plans for the future as well, and the list of places I want to visit is endless. It was this conversation that started off my thought process (no "You? Thinking?!" jokes please). It hit me, that I'm only 21 and I have a good fifty years until retiring age, atleast (fingers crossed). I don't have to become a Paramedic anytime soon.

Don't get me wrong, it is my lifes ambition to join the NHS ambulance service but maybe I would benefit from taking my time to get there. It's not an easy decision to make and I'm going to have to think about it a lot, but after weighing up my options it seems that maybe I should get a job and save up to travel. It would mean I don't have to take huge amounts of time off while working as a Paramedic, but I can gain some kind of clinical experience and do voluntary work instead. The way I see it is I have one of two directions to choose. A lot of people say things like 'better people take the harder, less travelled path' but I think this is more of a case of enjoyment. I'm not really sure.

Anyway, I could ramble on for a long time with my thoughts going in circles. I think you get the picture and I really have a lot of thinking to do. I guess what I can take from this for the immediate future is that I have plenty of time and I should just slow down.

 ...

I also watched the BBC 999 Awards last week. I have to say, it was really good to see that the emergency services are getting some sort of public recognition for the incredible jobs they all do. I also couldn't help noticing that they all mentioned teamwork as a huge part of what they do, and they couldn't have done it without their crewmates. I think it just goes to show what sort of people do these life saving jobs. Incredibly selfless and humble, all they care about is helping people and doing their job well.

...

I hope this didn't sound too jumbled, I wrote this a while ago. I didn't want to change any of it because it kind of captures my confusion and thought process at the time, while it was fresh.

Finally, my exams are over and done with and I am all moved in! The latter went well, and I am not sure about the first. I guess we'll see soon.

I am off to a family gathering tomorrow night and I hope you all have a great weekend! Catch you next week.