I Will NOT Be Normal!

So today I decided to give up and just get a normal job. I don't want to travel, I don't want to do what I love. I will plod along like a 'normal' person and just get through life.

Wait? Is that what people do? Is it really possible just to go with the flow and aim to reach the end of your life?

I'm sorry, but after thinking this through today, I am ADAMANT that this will not be me. I will make the absolute most out of every single second in possibly can. This might mean doing things I love like scrambling up mountains, sitting in a log cabin, building my own house or working in a job that I want to do. Or it might mean sulking and wallowing in self misery to give me the kick I need to lift my head and carry on. I will not be dragged through life with just enough to get by.

I WILL become a Paramedic.

I WILL travel the world.

I WILL build my own house.

I WILL do the things I want to do in order to live an amazing, purposeful life that has not been squandered. Some people aren't given the incredible gift of a pretty much guaranteed 80 year life expectancy. Some people have to fight for it while others waste it.

I can't say I am perfect but I try my utmost best to live these core values and every day I fail makes me more determined to do better in the future.

It's not easy to inspire this kind of feeling in someone, it often takes a life changing moment or some incredible insight into yourself. I have been inspired by the people I have met and deep down I see and feel what I describe but consciously it takes a lot more effort to live by these principles. My current aim is to make progress in this area, to feed off the inspiration and drive and get to where I want in life. To make the most out of every waking minute.

This video really makes you think too: http://elitedaily.com/life/motivation/this-video-uses-jelly-beans-show-you-how-much-youre-wasting-your-life-video/

Not Quite Ready (Part 2)

Okay, It's been a while and I owe an apology. As to an explanation, well there is none.

Last time I teasingly mentioned I came ever so close to joining the ambulance service. It's time to let that cat out of its bag, it's been in there long enough!

I applied for a job as a dispatcher with the South West Ambulance Service (SWAS) at the control room in Almondsbury. The role would involve taking emergency 999 calls from patients, recording details for ambulances to be dispatched and giving life saving medical instruction. You may be wondering why this is all so exciting if I didn't get the job? Well, part of the selection involved listening in on real life 999 calls.

Yeah, this really is as incredible as it sounds and the nerve racking interview was worth it just for this alone. The environment was relaxed and friendly. I was assured it's like having a second family, and I can understand why. Dispatchers deal with some very difficult and sometimes harrowing situations, never knowing what may be on the other end of the phone. I had never given this much thought until recently and I understand why the selection standards are so high.

I am not going to let rejection put me off, this is a perfect avenue for exploration. Many people seem to go from taking calls to either dispatching ambulances or actually being on the road as emergency medical technicians. I would choose the latter, and from there it's just a short jump (tonnes of money and years at uni) to being a Paramedic!

On a slightly different note, I want to mention a realisation that came to me. Five, or even three years ago, I would never have even dreamed of going for a job like this. It shows how much more confident I have become since moving to uni. I find I have more drive to do things now, more of a need to go out and see if i can grab that banana, or even reach that orange. What's the point of just sitting there and munching on bark?

Something that I have noticed only very recently though is more profound. I am not entirely sure what triggered this sudden change, I always assumed something like this took years of dedication and hard work. Well, being content with myself and living in the now has become a reality. I don't need to rush at this, or anything for that matter. I have a whole lifetime ahead of me and that has more meaning for me now than it ever has before. I am happy just being, doing things that must be done. Getting enjoyment out of the most mundane tasks. I've let go of everything that I don't need and I am moving on.

Two main elements stand out. I have goals for the future. I have memories and lessons from the past, but the rest, well that's in the past and I don't need to carry that around. Being here, now, that's what counts and that's what frees up the drive to reach my goals.

The only negative I can't draw from not knowing what brought this change on is that it may not last forever. As a result of this, I am actively pursuing (successfully in some cases) things that will help my career prospects and my sense of worth right now. Those pursuits that end up not so successful don't matter. Take the lessons and steal the show next time!

Sometimes it is just necessary to stop, look around and take a deep breath. That is where I am right now and after, I can continue with renewed vigour having benefitted from the wisdom around me.

Not Quite Ready

I was never quite sure where this burning desire to work as a Paramedic came from. I guess on some level I always wanted to work in health care. As a kid I would imagine that I would one day be a top surgeon in a huge hospital (probably after I realised being a scientist didn't really involve creating big explosions in test tubes). Now though, the fog has cleared. I want to do a job that's rewarding, I want to work with other people and help to make a difference. Working in an office, lab or shop to make another person rich doesn't float my boat. 

I think one day I could do this job very well. I'll be able to enter a person's life during their time of crisis and walk them through what could be an incredibly scary period of time, driven by all the right reasons. They're in pain and frightened, worried about what's going to happen to them or a loved one. This person will need someone to reassure them, make them feel safe and at ease. They need someone to remain calm and focused, someone that knows what they are doing. A paramedic must be able to do this for a patient and It's just as important as the medical aspect of their role.

But I have to ask myself, can I do that?

It's an important question, one that's not so easy to answer. I could easily turn around and shout a firm 'yes' but being sure on the outside probably isn't enough. The truth is, I'm not sure. Maybe it's something that can only be determined in an actual situation. I do know that the likelihood of failure is higher if I were to have strong lingering doubts and failing in such a situation is denying a person the right to the best support available during what could turn out to be the final day of their life.

And what if I don't like the job? Does wanting something so much automatically mean I will like it? Probably not. I want to get fit, but it doesn't mean I will like the process. I have no way of knowing until the time comes.

I think a part of me is hoping that once the uniform is on, it's almost like playing a part; I'm no longer me, I'm just another paramedic. It's impossible to know for sure. This whole question is really getting to me, mainly because if I can't do this job for some reason I'll be at a complete loss. I expect I'm over thinking the whole situation but currently I'm of the inclination that I should put off this line of work for a few more years while I work on my confidence and build up my ego a little.

If only I could stop thinking about it, I literally imagine what it's like every day. I desperately long to join the Ambulance Service. I recently came ever so close.

To be continued...

Apologies

I know, I know. I've been slacking with the blog posts. In all honesty, I haven't had anything to write about of late nor the motivation to dig something up.

I've been working at NHSBT for nearly 2 months now and I'm amazed at how fast the it's gone while annoyed at how little I've achieved outside of work. I guess this is to be expected though, getting used to the structure a new job creates alongside the new knowledge and skills I've had to gain really takes its toll mentally and physically. This is especially difficult when half the shifts start at 5am, an unearthly hour that never existed before the start of 2013. All I can say, is thank heavens for naps. In all honesty, I quite enjoy going to bed at 8pm of an evening. It's not like there's anything good on TV these days anyway (you wouldn't think I was only 21 would you?).

I'm slowly bringing my life around to where I want it. I've started eating properly again and the exercise will follow soon. I have a good job with good career prospects and the voluntary work for St John Ambulance will begin in the near future. Opposite the building I work in is an Ambulance Service Operations Center where the HART Paramedics (Hazardous Area Response Team) are based. I heard a rumour that we may be able to go over and talk to the guys to see what they get up to. I will attempt to find out more I think, this sounds like an exciting opportunity. Yes, that does mean the burning desire to be a Paramedic is still there, it really isn't a passing fling, this one is gonna stick with me for a long time. That's a good thing though, as I will have to take the long road. It's okay, I'm feeling positive.

Now, I feel it's my duty to do a little preaching here. As I work for the National Blood Service, and regularly give blood, I'm gonna pester you lot to do the same. We're in constant need of new donors and it literally takes half an hour to give a unit of blood. Ever thought of how being a Doctor and saving lives would be cool? Well, you CAN save a life without even applying for a medical degree or getting your stethoscope out. Go on, try it. Give blood.

I also just wanted to point out that my friend Stacie was recently on TV and in the Newspaper for the "From the Heart" campaign in a bid to raise awareness of organ transplantation. She's really quite inspiring and hopefully a read of this article will encourage you to at least think about becoming an organ donor. It takes seconds! You can also see her on ITV News/Daybreak in the video on her blog.

That's all from me today, I'm probably gonna go sleep now. I have a sore throat.

The Obligatory Christmas Post

Wow, it's been a while. I haven't had a chance to post as I have been pretty busy with work and all (yes, that's right... actual work!!).

I've really been enjoying my time at Bristol Mail Centre (except for Saturday's which are just hell on earth). My department takes all the reject letters and sorts them into outgoing (the rest of the country) and incoming (Bristol). There's about 60 pigeon holes to remember for three different sections and an expectation to sort 31 letters per minute! It's insanely fast paced but really quite an experience. I've also met some very interesting people, and I am getting some information on placements I can do to help with my Paramedic career off a guy from the Caribbean.

Anyway, the reason for my post is Christmas! I can't remember the last time I really enjoyed Christmas. Probably a good couple of years ago, at least. The magic I experienced when I was a kid, and even after I found out Santa Clause wasn't real had vanished and I became a Scrooge.

However, this year all of my pent up festive feelings are unleashing themselves and I've decided the build up to Christmas is by far the best part. I've already paid a visit to Bristol's German Market, had my customary German Sausage and even found myself some mulled cider! As you may have guessed, food is a huge part of my Christmas experience and I can not wait to make Christmas food and force feed it to people.

Last week I made our Christmas Tree out of a cereal box and this evening, I spent my time making mulled cider whilst listening to Christmas music. I'm in the middle of doing my Christmas shopping online, although I have no idea what I want for Christmas and my Mother is pestering my almost hourly.

Mulled Cider! As was pointed out by my housemate, it looks like a chocolate chip muffin floating around. I had to cheat slightly, as the shop was rather useless with it's spice selection.

House 269's Christmas Tree. I know it looks absolutely STUNNING, and you are all incredibly envious, but it looks ridiculously out of proportion in the corner of our living room.

Anyway, I hope you are all having a wonderful December. I shall leave you for another week. Go out and enjoy the festive spirit, don't let the Scrooge take over!

Phil.

Moments with a Purpose, or Just Coincidences?

This doesn't have a purpose, other than to help both you and I pass a little time. But then, does anything really have a purpose?

I thought I'd write about a little misadventure I had on Monday which I expect may give one or two of you a wee chuckle. Although on the surface it's quite a humorous story about how cruel Karma can be, it resonates a little deeper with myself.

After managing to lock someone in the house for an hour (yes, apparently it does happen) I decided to go for a run and I was only gone twenty minutes, tops. To my dismay, the house was locked upon my return with no signs of life from within. I even attempted the rather cliché stone throw at one of the windows (which quickly backfired as I watched it, realising it had to return to earth via either my face or my car). I spent half an hour in hope that somebody was still inside, banging on the door and letterbox. I decided to give up around the time my grumpy neighbour came outside and glared at me on his way to the local shop.

So, it slowly dawned on me that I would have to wait this one out until somebody came home, probably about five hours later at 6.30pm. What on earth does someone do in the middle of October without money or a phone? Probably not this, anyway...

Still wearing only shorts and T-shirt (with rather shaggy looking hair and muddy trainers) I decided to hide in the woods. I successfully tramped around for an hour or so, playing on steep hills near the stream and climbing trees - yes, okay, I was pretending to be Bear Grylls. As fun as this was, I needed something with more of a purpose to occupy myself for the remaining four hours. I decided to walk to Clifton Suspension Bridge (what an idiot).

I managed to make it through town, across the fields on the downs and up the hill to the bridge without too much drama, although I did get pooed on by a bird just before flying down a slippery hill. There really wasn't anything of interest to see around here considering the dense fog and cold air surrounding me, but I sat around for an hour anyway. There was a worrying moment where a lone man kept looking over the edge of the bridge and I kept hoping that if someone were to jump, they wouldn't do it while I was there*.

For those of you that run, or have even been once, know how much your legs ache for days after unless you go regularly. Well, after a 2 mile run and 4 mile walk in the cold, mine had just about dropped off. Walking the 4 miles home was pure agony and I had to dig deep to keep going (I really was tempted to lay in a field and hope someone called me an Ambulance). My shoes and socks were soaked through from cutting across fields and my hands were numb by now. I arrived home at about 6pm and someone was in. I was SO relieved (until I found out they had been in since 4.30pm!).

Anyway, the moral of the story: keys unlock doors, take them with you when you go out!

On this occasion my experience had a purpose; it really did show me that I can persevere and keep going even when things are tough and I'm running on empty. This is an important lesson and I am more determined than ever to get fit and keep pushing as hard as I can with everything in my life, including becoming a Paramedic.

Phil

*The man left after a few minutes, probably just admiring the view (or lack-of thanks to the wall fog wall about a meter from his face).

News of No Meaty Substance

I wrote this a few days ago and after re-reading I wasn't sure if I should post it or not. It's a bit long winded and not particularly related to becoming a Paramedic. However, I think It's important to stick by something that you've written so here it is.

...

Well, I did it. I have been thirty consecutive days without eating meat as a full vegetarian (unless you count the small mishap with the Cognac Jelly). I never in a million years considered that I, of all people, would give up meat and meat related products. I always thought it would be a ridiculous struggle to constantly find food to eat and meals to cook whilst being unhealthy with a lack of protein. I thought it was stupid, meaningless even; a statement that people made just because they could, to stand out from the rest silently screaming "LOOK AT ME, I DON'T EAT MEAT - GIVE ME ATTENTION".

I was wrong, in so many ways.

I had been on my meatless diet for about five days before I went home to visit my family (this was the same trip that I forgot Jelly contained Gelatin). My Mother seemed to both relish in the challenge of feeding the whole family a vegetarian meal whilst at the same time she practically cried with despair. She couldn't get her head around what on earth she was meant to prepare! She managed it in the end, and very well too - thanks Mum! I think this is a fair representation of everyone's attitude to the vegetarian diet before they attempt it.

I'm not going to try and persuade you to try because it is a very personal decision, but I have noticed so many benefits. This experiment has changed my views and in many ways, my life too. I feel as though this is a false claim because I have no proof or nothing to compare it too (as I haven't had a chance to actually eat meat again yet) but I feel much healthier now. I have noticed that there seems to be less of a fog in my mind; things seem clearer and thoughts are easier to order. I have more energy and I feel happier. I am in a pretty rough, stressful situation at the moment with ever worsening financial burdens and no job, but I find I often have a slight smile on my face.

I honestly can't put this down to not eating meat completely, I have no idea. It's just a best guess due to the stress I'm under at the moment and the lack of sleep I seem to be getting. I'm not even sure if I am eating enough calories in a day (I have lost about 2 stone in the last 3 months). I chose a bad time to try this, but I am seriously glad I did because of the environmental and health impact.

However, I did find creating meat free meals was easy as pie! I ate the same but removed the meat, and maybe added in some fake Quorn crap or some beans. Job done.

Did I crave meat? Not really. Not even Chicken. I did miss it, and vegetarian Chinese take away wasn't quite the same but I dealt with it. But on the subject of cravings, ever since I started I haven't been able to get cheese off of my mind. Whilst writing this I have eaten about half a block and I still want more.

How will I carry this forward? I'm not sure as of yet. I will probably just continue, eating little meat - maybe restricting it to special occasions.

...

Okay, So I am really clawing for something to post about at the moment. There is literally very little worth discussing regarding progress towards the ultimate goal of this blog. However, this is a small achievement and right now, small achievements are what I need.

I hope I may have inspired you to challenge yourself a little, whether it be changing your diet or braving the cold to start that new exercise regime. I know that I have inspired one of my cousins to try going Veggie for a month. I wish her luck, as I know she likes her drunk food and gravy!

Have a good week,

Phil

(I have updated my Life List as required! I am thinking about a few things I'd like to add as we speak)

To Uni, or Not to Uni? That is the Question.

I am lacking the motivation to post anything of any great intelligence or thought here at the moment. I have been rummaging around and a few tentative ideas for posts have cropped up but they need more research and all of my energy is currently aimed at finding a job (or 'moping around' as one might call it).

A midst all of this though, I have been tossing about the idea of returning to University next year to just get on with my Paramedic Sciences degree. Fueled by several Paramedic blogs I have recently come across on the internet, my desire to get into this job is just getting stronger and stronger. I really am not sure what is driving me towards this, or if I will even be able to cope with the immense responsibility that stands on the incredibly wide shoulders of emergency care practitioners (I am working on a post that goes into detail on some of the issues that Paramedics and EMT's have to deal with).

This is such a huge decision in my life, I'm really not sure what to do right now. I almost want to just 'wait and see' but things like this don't wait around. The deadline for University applications falls in mid January, meaning that I need to complete an extensive UCAS application before then, including references and a well drafted personal statement. I'm wondering if this effort will be worth it, just to decide come August that I want to put off my (second) degree for X number of years. At the moment I think a main worry is the financial commitment. I will be paying more for this 2 year foundation degree than I paid for my 3 year undergraduate degree!

After believing that it's no longer possible to 'third man' with an Ambulance crew anymore, I had given up on the hope of gaining any experience of what it might be like to carry out a role in pre-hospital care. However, I have been informed by a friend that it is still possible within some Ambulance trusts! I have begun contacting some to see if there is a possibility of doing this. I will wait and see the outcome of this before making a firm decision on the University front. It's just difficult to see a future through the 'fog' at the moment. I think I need to change my perspective and stop trying to long term plan, just get on with it. The danger is though, that I end up stuck. It happens all the time. People apply for an office job to see them through temporarily, ten years and thirty five lbs later they're still sat at the same desk with the same intentions they've always had and no plans to put these into action. I will not be one of these!

This process of becoming a Paramedic is going to take longer than I had ever previously imagined. It's difficult to be proactive, with very little to do in the mean time.

My CRB check has come back clear from St John Ambulance, meaning that I should be able to book myself onto the training sessions required. Unfortunately, I may not be able to attend my weekly group meetings. It all rests on how well my Job Interview went that I'm waiting to hear about. That's the same reason this post is being done so late tonight, so I'm not tempted to imprint my whinging onto the internet tomorrow if I get rejected!

On a final note, I have been watching Kevin McCloud's Man Made Home on Channel 4. Quite inspiring. I've even caught myself looking at land prices...

For another week perhaps, over and out.

Them Damn Butterflys Again!

It's that tight feeling in my stomach again. That horrible knot, twisting at my insides telling me to run away and hide. Oh I would love to run away and hide, but sadly I have to attend this interview. I'm half an hour early with nothing to do but sit and think of the upcoming interrogation and how stupid I'll make myself look. I should have stayed in bed a bit longer.

In all seriousness, I think we all go into things like this thinking of how stupid we might look or saying the wrong thing. As it turns out, this probably makes us more likely to fall over a chair or accidentally tell them about the time you got fired for eating all the cream cakes in the bakery. I think the key to nailing any job interview is confidence and enthusiasm, but this requires a calm mind. I wish that damn knot would go away! Maybe one of my beta blockers will help...

Writing that only took up three minutes. What do I do with the other 27? I should probably sit and think about how I can put a positive spin on my weaknesses (not sure how you make being rubbish at everything particularly positive!). I really dislike the whole interview culture. They ask the same old questions and look for the same answers time and time again. It's almost like learning lines for a big part in a play, but then you turn up and actually your only the under study. A lot of effort and an overall disappointingly heart breaking experience.

It may sound like I'm being down hearted and lacking the enthusiasm I mentioned was key to job interviews, but I'm not. I'm really quite positive. Maybe because this is a christmas temp job as a mail center sorter and If I don't get it, I should be put down.

Seven minutes down, 23 to go. Oh time flies when you're having fun.

On Monday, I have my second interview for a role within the NHS at Southmead Hospital. I'm really hopeful I will get one of the two positions available as there are only about 6 candidates. 1 in 3 chance, not bad huh? Especially when the only real requirements were to "be able to understand english and follow instructions". I think I may qualify, don't you?

Nine minutes have passed now. I guess I should stop writing and begin the nervous pacing around the living room for the remaining 21.

Phil

Introducing My Gallery

One of the many incredible Cuban sunsets taken from this deserted Treasure Island

 Just a quick post today before I write a more in depth one later this week. I basically wanted to introduce My Gallery (you can find a permanant link at the top of my blog in the navigation bar). I have decided to show off some of my photography on here in the hope that it might get a few more views than it currently does. Think of it as a bit of self advertisement! I may consider producing a better website for it in the future, but for now this'll do!

If you want to see more of my work, then please visit my Deviant Art Gallery. I would also be thrilled if you were to comment on them as I'm always looking for ways to improve and love hearing peoples opinions.

Thanks guys!

Phil

Now and Then; Literally

Long term happiness and productivity is the aim, and the wheels have been set in motion. But what about the short term? What about now?

My interview for St John Ambulance was great, and now I just need to wait the 6 weeks for my CRB check to clear. Although it's only 6 weeks, that is hell of a long time to just 'wait'. This is kind of what I mean, I have ideas for the future and that's great. I will enjoy that when the time comes. But what about now? That's where I'm struggling. There is nothing for now and it's because I've been too busy planning for the future, but as the old saying goes; tomorrow never comes.

For some reason it's been wired into my brain that the key to happiness and fulfilment lies with what I plan to do, and to a certain extent that will be key to my happiness, but for then and not now. It seems that I need to change this way of thinking and start doing things for today, for now. If I don't then I'm always only going to be 'happy in the future'.

I hope you understand what I'm trying to say here, it's not so easy to put into words. It just seems like a massive realisation to me. A better way to put it might be that we all have stuff to look forward to, but what do we do while we wait for them? Nothing is probably the answer, and then once this exciting event passes we again do nothing until the next exciting event. I think the true source of happiness is either from enjoying this 'nothing' or from turning this 'nothing' into something, not from collecting a series of events so that we can brag about them. I always think I would enjoy doing nothing, but in all honesty it sends me stir crazy and saps everything from me, leaving nothing left to enjoy the moment. Is this what they call motivation?

I'm struggling with motivation, probably because I'm planning for the future at the moment. I'm trying to get things to fall into place, but these things are long term and it leaves nothing for the short term except for existing, and this doesn't provide me with any happiness or fulfilment. It is also much easier to commit to something in 6 weeks time because I don't have to face it now, giving the illusion of motivation.

So. In short, I have no motivation for the now. When the future does rock around, I will feel compelled to do whatever it is I had planned because it would be harder to back out. This doesn't sound like something I want to do. I want to volunteer because I enjoy it and I get fulfilment out of it, not because I thought it would be a good idea six weeks ago.

How do I go about changing this view? I will let you know when I find out, I feel I'm not the only one out there with this problem.

This isn't really what I wanted to do in this post and I'm not sure it's achieved what I wanted (I may come back to it when I've had a bit more of a think about it). It has turned into a bit of a jumbled rant and I doubt even I could make sense of it if I were to read over it again and I do apologise, but I feel my this may be key to my success some day and should be posted.

...

On a lighter note to end, I tried to get some information from Cancer Research UK about their fund raising processes and now they seem to think I want to raise £10,000 for them and won't stop ringing me. I don't know how I manage to get myself into these sticky situations.

I will actually try to leave it a week before I post anything else, I get a bit carried away!

Until then, have a good weekend!

Phil

All Is Not Lost

All is not lost, I guess.

I got a rejection from the GWAS for the Student Paramedics job. This was a bit of a bummer. Even though I knew the chances of getting it were incredibly slim, there was still a part of me that held some hope. I'm just angry that all they gave me was an automated 'good luck with your career' email and they won't give me a reason why, although I think I already know what it is. It would be nice to have some sort of confirmation.

I am going to book my C1 driving licence medical exam next week, which I have found out will cost me £120 (which is ridiculous)! Althouh I'm incredibly worried about my eyesight and the requirements. I wear glasses, and my eyesight is fine with them - but the DVLA require a certain amount of vision without corrective lenses (3/60 acuity on the Snellen chart - this is basically reading the largest letter on the chart with no glasses/contact lenses at a distance of 3m) which I really don't think I have. My prescription is about -5.5 so the vision is not so great. I don't know what I will do if I can't get this licence - I will have to give up on my dreams of being a Paramedic, the thought of which is gut wrenching.

Now I need to find something new to aim towards for the time being. God only knows what that will be.

Over and out.

The Beginning Pt. 2

(Part 1 here)

Although there isn't much more to my 'story', I thought I would continue the post by giving you an idea of the obstacles I have to face in the coming months and years. Be warned, this is a LONG post so get a cuppa on the go (or something more suited to the amazing weather we've temporarily stolen from another part of the world).

...

I have done a lot of research into this line of work, and most importantly, how I get into it. I have discovered various ways, all of which have some requirements in common. So here they are:

1) Get a degree

This is as simple as it sounds. A few universities in the country offer the Paramedic Sciences foundation degree which consists of two years of higher education based learning along with a placement. As luck would have it, UWE is one of the universities that offers this course and was originally my main plan of attack. Unfortunately, I would still need to acquire my C1 driving licence either before or during the course and with the recent increase in fees I would probably be in about £40,000 of debt after completing my second degree. It also means going back to uni - is this really a good idea given my track record?

2) Become an Emergency Medical Technician

An EMT is basically a Paramedic's assistant, travelling around in the ambulance and performing medical procedures under a paramedic's supervision. The pay is less, but it means that I would gain incredibly valuable on-the-job experience and possibly be given the chance to 'upgrade' to paramedic status through the open university, which takes four years of hard work whilst working. I know what you're thinking; it's the hard work part that puts me off. Well, no not really - I'm just impatient. This also means I need to acquire my C1 driving licence.

3) Find a Student Paramedic Placement

This involves finding and applying for a student paramedic placement, where the NHS train me up through university and on-the-job placement. I think this is the ideal method as it almost fast tracks me through the training and straight into a job which is ultimately what I want. This poses several problems though. I need my C1 driving licence first. You can spot the common theme here, right? I am completely for gaining my C1 licence but it's going to cost around one THOUSAND pounds. People don't have that kind of cash lying around! And I will still need to pay for the Open University course which is £10,000 (admittedly, much cheaper than the nine grand a year for a normal course and I get paid while on the job).

4) Go Private

"A lot of research" unfortunately didn't cover this.

...

Now, the obvious decision would be to go for number 3 and as it happens I have applied for one of these student paramedic positions with the Great Western Ambulance Service (the application deadline is tomorrow). This means starting my studies on October 1st and this leaves me no time to obtain a C1 licence, and I have basically written a promise in the application that I will get it by the start of the course. Will they believe this? Who knows (whatever happened to the good ol' fashioned benefit of the doubt?). I have also committed to living in Bristol for another year as I have signed a contract on a house with some friends and the ambulance service could end up sending me to the farthest reaches of cornwall (AKA 'end of the earth' to some people). So whether they accept my application/plea is still to be seen. Look on the bright side, if I did get this my journey would be over and you can stop reading my rambling (or so you think)!

I'm currently focusing my entire efforts on getting a job to help pay for my new financial commitments, otherwise I'll be in the poor house. I'm also saving for this stupid C1 driving licence, which is clearly just a money making scheme! I need to go through a full medical and redo a huge theory test, a driving course and the actual test. You would have thought the NHS would pay for this while they give 'blue light' training (for the record, they used to). It's a shame this doesn't even guarantee me a place in any of the above jobs as competition in this line of work is incredibly high. It's a risk I will have to take.

 Almost at the end now, have a good slurp of your beverage!

My main plan for the time being will be to work for a year and re-assess the situation then (unless pigs fly and I get this October placement). I am trying to gain some work within the NHS as this makes me much more employable within the health care industry - unfortunately to get a job in the NHS and gain the necessary experience, I need to already have experience. This seems to be an impossible situation. I should probably get out there and do some voluntary work, but it is a struggle to focus on so much at once. Luckily, I have a 'last resort' lined up, but I am not sure I want to go down the route of 12 hour shifts in a yoghurt factory just yet...

I wish there was an easy way to focus my efforts in one distinct direction. Instead, I am presented with a myriad of options painted every colour of the rainbow. Which is the best option and which do I take?! This is where I wish guardian angels really existed (or the NHS could actually give me a definitive line of attack).

I shall leave you with this parting gift to show my appreciation for your time:

Dolomites Mountains, Italy

Taken by one of the people I stalk/follow on Deviant Art - niccolobonfadini

The Beginning Pt. 1

I guess I should introduce myself and start from the beginning... 

I am 21 years old and I have just finished my degree in Biology at UWE (this is a slight lie, I have two resits to do before I technically finish but who's counting?). I didn't know what on earth I was going to do with this degree, but I loved the subject so that's what I went with. After three years I can safely say I would rather be homeless than work as a scientist - it really isn't for me and I struggled monumentally in my final year. I will forever hold a special place in my heart for the subject though (awww!).

On a side note, it does seem that the majority of people are urged to go to university whether they really need to or not. They pick a random subject and probably end up hating it, as I have done. It is an enormous amount of money to spend on something that won't really get used. Although I now have a nice, shiny BSc (Hons) it won't help me become a Paramedic in the slightest as I will need to obtain another degree!

I have never really known outright what I wanted to do when I 'grew up' but I guess I have always been inclined towards health care. It was about a year and a half ago when the traumatic realisation that it wouldn't be long before I was ejected into the real world hit me, so I decided it was time to choose a tree to climb, so to speak. You may think "Oh, he picked Paramedic out of a hat!" but alas, it took a long time for me to come to the decision that I simply HAD to become a Paramedic. I can't really say what it is that made me come to this conclusion, it just seems right. This is what I will be happy doing - helping people, saving lives and of course, driving on blue lights (all for very little money may I add). All joking aside, I really admire the people that spend long hours answering emergency calls 24/7, 365 days of the year with a huge amount of knowledge and skill for very little recognition. I want to be one of these people and I am willing to give my ALL towards this.

Okay, looking back at what I've written maybe starting this post with "I guess I should introduce myself and start from the beginning..." probably doesn't fit. It implies I have a huge story to tell, and actually I bet this fits onto one side of A4 (along with another recent endeavour of mine to encourage some enthusiasm on my part - a list of life achievements. I guess it's safe to say it didn't do much to stir the soul). BUT what I will say is that it symbolises the beginning of this blog and my journey to fully qualified paramedic status and I hope you will join me to cheer at my achievements and kick me into gear after my downfalls. Have you got 50 years to spare?

To be continued... (click me!)