Get back on the horse and ride

"If you haven't fallen off a horse, you haven't been riding long enough."

Part 2 of my previous post will be up soon.

Not Quite Ready

I was never quite sure where this burning desire to work as a Paramedic came from. I guess on some level I always wanted to work in health care. As a kid I would imagine that I would one day be a top surgeon in a huge hospital (probably after I realised being a scientist didn't really involve creating big explosions in test tubes). Now though, the fog has cleared. I want to do a job that's rewarding, I want to work with other people and help to make a difference. Working in an office, lab or shop to make another person rich doesn't float my boat. 

I think one day I could do this job very well. I'll be able to enter a person's life during their time of crisis and walk them through what could be an incredibly scary period of time, driven by all the right reasons. They're in pain and frightened, worried about what's going to happen to them or a loved one. This person will need someone to reassure them, make them feel safe and at ease. They need someone to remain calm and focused, someone that knows what they are doing. A paramedic must be able to do this for a patient and It's just as important as the medical aspect of their role.

But I have to ask myself, can I do that?

It's an important question, one that's not so easy to answer. I could easily turn around and shout a firm 'yes' but being sure on the outside probably isn't enough. The truth is, I'm not sure. Maybe it's something that can only be determined in an actual situation. I do know that the likelihood of failure is higher if I were to have strong lingering doubts and failing in such a situation is denying a person the right to the best support available during what could turn out to be the final day of their life.

And what if I don't like the job? Does wanting something so much automatically mean I will like it? Probably not. I want to get fit, but it doesn't mean I will like the process. I have no way of knowing until the time comes.

I think a part of me is hoping that once the uniform is on, it's almost like playing a part; I'm no longer me, I'm just another paramedic. It's impossible to know for sure. This whole question is really getting to me, mainly because if I can't do this job for some reason I'll be at a complete loss. I expect I'm over thinking the whole situation but currently I'm of the inclination that I should put off this line of work for a few more years while I work on my confidence and build up my ego a little.

If only I could stop thinking about it, I literally imagine what it's like every day. I desperately long to join the Ambulance Service. I recently came ever so close.

To be continued...

Apologies

I know, I know. I've been slacking with the blog posts. In all honesty, I haven't had anything to write about of late nor the motivation to dig something up.

I've been working at NHSBT for nearly 2 months now and I'm amazed at how fast the it's gone while annoyed at how little I've achieved outside of work. I guess this is to be expected though, getting used to the structure a new job creates alongside the new knowledge and skills I've had to gain really takes its toll mentally and physically. This is especially difficult when half the shifts start at 5am, an unearthly hour that never existed before the start of 2013. All I can say, is thank heavens for naps. In all honesty, I quite enjoy going to bed at 8pm of an evening. It's not like there's anything good on TV these days anyway (you wouldn't think I was only 21 would you?).

I'm slowly bringing my life around to where I want it. I've started eating properly again and the exercise will follow soon. I have a good job with good career prospects and the voluntary work for St John Ambulance will begin in the near future. Opposite the building I work in is an Ambulance Service Operations Center where the HART Paramedics (Hazardous Area Response Team) are based. I heard a rumour that we may be able to go over and talk to the guys to see what they get up to. I will attempt to find out more I think, this sounds like an exciting opportunity. Yes, that does mean the burning desire to be a Paramedic is still there, it really isn't a passing fling, this one is gonna stick with me for a long time. That's a good thing though, as I will have to take the long road. It's okay, I'm feeling positive.

Now, I feel it's my duty to do a little preaching here. As I work for the National Blood Service, and regularly give blood, I'm gonna pester you lot to do the same. We're in constant need of new donors and it literally takes half an hour to give a unit of blood. Ever thought of how being a Doctor and saving lives would be cool? Well, you CAN save a life without even applying for a medical degree or getting your stethoscope out. Go on, try it. Give blood.

I also just wanted to point out that my friend Stacie was recently on TV and in the Newspaper for the "From the Heart" campaign in a bid to raise awareness of organ transplantation. She's really quite inspiring and hopefully a read of this article will encourage you to at least think about becoming an organ donor. It takes seconds! You can also see her on ITV News/Daybreak in the video on her blog.

That's all from me today, I'm probably gonna go sleep now. I have a sore throat.

The Obligatory Christmas Post

Wow, it's been a while. I haven't had a chance to post as I have been pretty busy with work and all (yes, that's right... actual work!!).

I've really been enjoying my time at Bristol Mail Centre (except for Saturday's which are just hell on earth). My department takes all the reject letters and sorts them into outgoing (the rest of the country) and incoming (Bristol). There's about 60 pigeon holes to remember for three different sections and an expectation to sort 31 letters per minute! It's insanely fast paced but really quite an experience. I've also met some very interesting people, and I am getting some information on placements I can do to help with my Paramedic career off a guy from the Caribbean.

Anyway, the reason for my post is Christmas! I can't remember the last time I really enjoyed Christmas. Probably a good couple of years ago, at least. The magic I experienced when I was a kid, and even after I found out Santa Clause wasn't real had vanished and I became a Scrooge.

However, this year all of my pent up festive feelings are unleashing themselves and I've decided the build up to Christmas is by far the best part. I've already paid a visit to Bristol's German Market, had my customary German Sausage and even found myself some mulled cider! As you may have guessed, food is a huge part of my Christmas experience and I can not wait to make Christmas food and force feed it to people.

Last week I made our Christmas Tree out of a cereal box and this evening, I spent my time making mulled cider whilst listening to Christmas music. I'm in the middle of doing my Christmas shopping online, although I have no idea what I want for Christmas and my Mother is pestering my almost hourly.

Mulled Cider! As was pointed out by my housemate, it looks like a chocolate chip muffin floating around. I had to cheat slightly, as the shop was rather useless with it's spice selection.

House 269's Christmas Tree. I know it looks absolutely STUNNING, and you are all incredibly envious, but it looks ridiculously out of proportion in the corner of our living room.

Anyway, I hope you are all having a wonderful December. I shall leave you for another week. Go out and enjoy the festive spirit, don't let the Scrooge take over!

Phil.

Over the Moon

At last! I've had some luck thrown my way. I have just received a Job offer as Healthcare Technical Officer within the NHS Blood & Transplant and I'm over the moon! I will be working at Filton Blood Centre, which is the largest blood bank in the world and supplies blood to most of the hospitals within the UK. Quite an amazing place, even if it is built on a flood plain.

I had a tour around the place when I went for my interview, and it's surprisingly efficient and very much like a factory as opposed to a lab environment. I thought I'd share a few pictures to give an insight into the life saving work I'll be doing daily (at unearthly hours in the morning).

The modern new building I shall be working in (geograph.org.uk)

I'm not sure I'll ever get used to holding bags of peoples blood...  (davidhedgesphotography.com)

The whole place is set out in little pods and it's unbelievably well run. I also get to wear a ridiculous cap and special shoes. (davidhedgesphotography.com)

After being spun in a centrifuge (blood cells are pulled to the bottom while plasma sits on top), they squeeze out the plasma in these machines leaving just blood. Note the very attractive uniform! Working here definately gives you a taste of what people would look like bald. (davidhedgesphotography.com)

I believe here they are mixing the blood cells with a special saline solution so that they last for longer (BBC News)

Finally, this link takes you to a short BBC News video and shows some of what goes on inside the manufacturing hall.

From what I have gathered so far, I will be doing some form of testing. Not what I originally wanted, but I think it will be just as good as the other roles within the centre.

So it looks like I may have been saved from working at Royal Mail after all...

Have a good Weekend,

Phil.

Moments with a Purpose, or Just Coincidences?

This doesn't have a purpose, other than to help both you and I pass a little time. But then, does anything really have a purpose?

I thought I'd write about a little misadventure I had on Monday which I expect may give one or two of you a wee chuckle. Although on the surface it's quite a humorous story about how cruel Karma can be, it resonates a little deeper with myself.

After managing to lock someone in the house for an hour (yes, apparently it does happen) I decided to go for a run and I was only gone twenty minutes, tops. To my dismay, the house was locked upon my return with no signs of life from within. I even attempted the rather cliché stone throw at one of the windows (which quickly backfired as I watched it, realising it had to return to earth via either my face or my car). I spent half an hour in hope that somebody was still inside, banging on the door and letterbox. I decided to give up around the time my grumpy neighbour came outside and glared at me on his way to the local shop.

So, it slowly dawned on me that I would have to wait this one out until somebody came home, probably about five hours later at 6.30pm. What on earth does someone do in the middle of October without money or a phone? Probably not this, anyway...

Still wearing only shorts and T-shirt (with rather shaggy looking hair and muddy trainers) I decided to hide in the woods. I successfully tramped around for an hour or so, playing on steep hills near the stream and climbing trees - yes, okay, I was pretending to be Bear Grylls. As fun as this was, I needed something with more of a purpose to occupy myself for the remaining four hours. I decided to walk to Clifton Suspension Bridge (what an idiot).

I managed to make it through town, across the fields on the downs and up the hill to the bridge without too much drama, although I did get pooed on by a bird just before flying down a slippery hill. There really wasn't anything of interest to see around here considering the dense fog and cold air surrounding me, but I sat around for an hour anyway. There was a worrying moment where a lone man kept looking over the edge of the bridge and I kept hoping that if someone were to jump, they wouldn't do it while I was there*.

For those of you that run, or have even been once, know how much your legs ache for days after unless you go regularly. Well, after a 2 mile run and 4 mile walk in the cold, mine had just about dropped off. Walking the 4 miles home was pure agony and I had to dig deep to keep going (I really was tempted to lay in a field and hope someone called me an Ambulance). My shoes and socks were soaked through from cutting across fields and my hands were numb by now. I arrived home at about 6pm and someone was in. I was SO relieved (until I found out they had been in since 4.30pm!).

Anyway, the moral of the story: keys unlock doors, take them with you when you go out!

On this occasion my experience had a purpose; it really did show me that I can persevere and keep going even when things are tough and I'm running on empty. This is an important lesson and I am more determined than ever to get fit and keep pushing as hard as I can with everything in my life, including becoming a Paramedic.

Phil

*The man left after a few minutes, probably just admiring the view (or lack-of thanks to the wall fog wall about a meter from his face).

News of No Meaty Substance

I wrote this a few days ago and after re-reading I wasn't sure if I should post it or not. It's a bit long winded and not particularly related to becoming a Paramedic. However, I think It's important to stick by something that you've written so here it is.

...

Well, I did it. I have been thirty consecutive days without eating meat as a full vegetarian (unless you count the small mishap with the Cognac Jelly). I never in a million years considered that I, of all people, would give up meat and meat related products. I always thought it would be a ridiculous struggle to constantly find food to eat and meals to cook whilst being unhealthy with a lack of protein. I thought it was stupid, meaningless even; a statement that people made just because they could, to stand out from the rest silently screaming "LOOK AT ME, I DON'T EAT MEAT - GIVE ME ATTENTION".

I was wrong, in so many ways.

I had been on my meatless diet for about five days before I went home to visit my family (this was the same trip that I forgot Jelly contained Gelatin). My Mother seemed to both relish in the challenge of feeding the whole family a vegetarian meal whilst at the same time she practically cried with despair. She couldn't get her head around what on earth she was meant to prepare! She managed it in the end, and very well too - thanks Mum! I think this is a fair representation of everyone's attitude to the vegetarian diet before they attempt it.

I'm not going to try and persuade you to try because it is a very personal decision, but I have noticed so many benefits. This experiment has changed my views and in many ways, my life too. I feel as though this is a false claim because I have no proof or nothing to compare it too (as I haven't had a chance to actually eat meat again yet) but I feel much healthier now. I have noticed that there seems to be less of a fog in my mind; things seem clearer and thoughts are easier to order. I have more energy and I feel happier. I am in a pretty rough, stressful situation at the moment with ever worsening financial burdens and no job, but I find I often have a slight smile on my face.

I honestly can't put this down to not eating meat completely, I have no idea. It's just a best guess due to the stress I'm under at the moment and the lack of sleep I seem to be getting. I'm not even sure if I am eating enough calories in a day (I have lost about 2 stone in the last 3 months). I chose a bad time to try this, but I am seriously glad I did because of the environmental and health impact.

However, I did find creating meat free meals was easy as pie! I ate the same but removed the meat, and maybe added in some fake Quorn crap or some beans. Job done.

Did I crave meat? Not really. Not even Chicken. I did miss it, and vegetarian Chinese take away wasn't quite the same but I dealt with it. But on the subject of cravings, ever since I started I haven't been able to get cheese off of my mind. Whilst writing this I have eaten about half a block and I still want more.

How will I carry this forward? I'm not sure as of yet. I will probably just continue, eating little meat - maybe restricting it to special occasions.

...

Okay, So I am really clawing for something to post about at the moment. There is literally very little worth discussing regarding progress towards the ultimate goal of this blog. However, this is a small achievement and right now, small achievements are what I need.

I hope I may have inspired you to challenge yourself a little, whether it be changing your diet or braving the cold to start that new exercise regime. I know that I have inspired one of my cousins to try going Veggie for a month. I wish her luck, as I know she likes her drunk food and gravy!

Have a good week,

Phil

(I have updated my Life List as required! I am thinking about a few things I'd like to add as we speak)